I've five months until my vacation ends and I feel anything but prepared. I've never had to trade my time for paper. I've been supported by my parents and parts of the american machine. That teet suckling ends at the end of this semester. Being cognizant of how one event can cause cascading repercussions, I can't ignore that how I behave in this remaining time will affect the rest of my life.

A frank and brief assessment of the world only adds to my unpreparedness. Humanity is holding on to a faltering interconnected global economic system. I don't think it can continue in the direction it is going but trying to envision a world without it is far more frightening. Its easier for us to imagine and accept the destruction of the world than a fundamental change in our economic doctrine.

How learning basic body language can forever change your perspective on human interactions, so too does reading the works of people like Alan Watts, Terrence McKenna, and Ram Dass forever change your perspective on unfulfilling work. Had I remained ignorant to this paradigm, I could have an unfulfilling job, a passionless marriage, and vegetative evenings with a beer in my hand and still be relatively content. No more doe.

My main issue is I don't know where to focus. Given the momentum of technology, and it is exponential momentum, what should I spend my finite time learning? My answer to this question at the moment is the human body, specifically the brain. My intuition tells me I'll have work in this field ten years from now, but I'm tempted to believe this is more an ignorance of technology and a defense mechanism than any real insight on the matter.

There is a threshold that before crossed boredom exists. If its ever crossed boredom ceases to be but is replaced by stress. No afterlife is promised. There is finite time my body will function. I can learn almost anything, but the price is priceless time. I could have a thousand lifetimes and not do all that there is to do. So what to do? Thus my stress and confusion. "Be here now" is my ultimate defense lol.

So like most pseudo philosophers, I'll do anything not to have to do real work. I recognize the need for those pieces of paper, so some work must be done. If you need a diet plan, workout plan, personal trainer, someone to write your papers, or a therapist, contact me. That's pretty much my skill set and I think I'm above average at most of them. So if you have some green slips you'd like to trade for any of these services, please let me know.